The ‘Tipping Point’ when you decide ‘enough is enough!’

The ‘Tipping Point’ when you decide ‘enough is enough!’

 

So what I discovered as a result of a recent facebook live I did (see below), is that what I have now decided to call the ‘tipping point’, is something that many of us relate to.
It seems those of us who have suffered for a long time with body dissatisfaction because of our size, seem to regularly have a moment where we tip.
This might happen when we look in a mirror and suddenly feel total disappointment with our reflection.
It might be a number on the scales that really depresses us.
It could be that there is an impending social event that requires dressing up for, and this scares the bejeebers out of us.
Have a peek at the video now, and see what comes up for you! (I’d love to hear what your name for this phenomenon is- leave a comment below with your name idea, and I’ll gift a complementary 1 hour coaching session for the one I like best!)

 

 

Anyway, whatever we want to call it, the benefit of it is that it can motivate us (or panic us) into action.
My question is ‘for how long?’.
My experience is that this ‘panic point’  can be useful in getting us motivated maybe once, twice or 3 times, but not indefinately.
Over time it loses it’s impact, especially for those of us who have a longstanding challenge with managing our weight….whilst it still may have the effect of springboarding us into action, the action doesn’t last.  Because we have repeated the cycle too often.

 

The novelty has worn off if you like.  And the shock, disgust and disappointment we feel for our bodies, does not motivate us to eat healthier, instead it wears us down.

 

In panic mode we may also start hunting around for the ‘best’ diet; the one that will give us the ‘quickest results’.  Or even better, what if we could find the magic bullet that would mean perfect body, minimal effort.
Reality check- there ain’t no such thing!  Not that will lead us to long term weight management anyway.  If diets really worked, why are there SO many of them and why is everyone still dieting?

 

This is why after so many years of experiencing the tipping point myself and observing others experiencing it too, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are doing things the wrong way round.
So my suggestion is that we take our head out of the sand now (even if we are in the ‘poodling along, in denial stage’), take a deep breath and make the decision to start appreciating and liking our bodies as they are right now.
This will allow us to clear the way to WANTING to take the best possible care of our poor unappreciated and disrespected bodies.  And it’s only once we embed new behaviours that are linked to PROPER self-care i.e. good nutrition, management of chronic stress, exercise, learning to soothe our emotions in ways that don’t involve food AND finding kinder ways of ‘talking’ to our bodies, that we will then clear the way to releasing weight permanently.
How about it?  After all how many more times do YOU want to hit that ‘tipping point’?
Don’t forget to be in with a chance of winning a free 1 hour session with me, share your name idea for this phenomenon in the blog comments below 🙂 

 

Am I being pretentious when I call it ‘Weight Release’??

Am I being pretentious when I call it ‘Weight Release’??
I’ve had a few people comment recently that they like the term ‘weight release’
I  prefer to use it in place of ‘weight loss’…… but I do wonder whether in doing so I’m coming across as pretentious!?
I case I am, then I want to explain my reasons for calling it this:

 

1.For me using the term ‘release’ implies that I have given the weight, permission to go.

 

This is important, because contrary to common belief, for many of us releasing weight is not as simple as eating less and moving more.  There can be deep psychological, emotional and habitual reasons why we might be prone to hanging onto the fat.  We may even be subconsciously choosing to do so.
For some the fat may be acting as an insulator, or a protector from perceived outside dangers.
Others are so used to inhabiting a larger body, that they may not know how to ‘be’ in a slimmer body.
And of course, many of us use food as a way of coping with emotions.
These are all good reasons for hanging onto our fat!

 

So if we want to release weight permanently, then these issues need to be addressed, worked through and released too!

 

In my head I picture releasing fat into the universe, like releasing a flight of white doves! Nice eh?
For me, it works so much better than ‘losing’ something, especially as……

 

2. I don’t want to find it again!!

 

The thing is, mostly when we lose something (our keys, our tempers, our minds!) it’s not done intentionally.  It’s an accident and it’s an undesirable outcome!
So if I want to manage my weight permanently, thinking of it as a ‘loss’ is not useful.  Years ago someone gave me a fridge magnet that said- ‘I keep losing weight, but it keeps finding me!’. I thought this was funny at the time….not so much now!
The concept of ‘losing’ in any other area of life is negative, so I  choose to LOSE the word ‘loss’ where weight is concerned 🙂

 

 

 3.  My approach is different!

Another reason I use the term ‘weight release’ is because it’s important to me to imply that the work I do with my clients is different…it’s not about weight loss in the traditional sense.  I don’t believe my clients need yet another diet plan or exercise regime.  They already know what to do!
My priority when working with my clients, is to enable them to love and accept their bodies just as they are.  And then to motivate them to put practical ‘body respect’ steps into place: such as self care, good nutrition, exercise etc.
Weight release is a happy  by-product of the work I do.  Good self-esteem, body confidence and health are the primary goals.
So now you know why I talk about ‘weight release’ instead of ‘weight loss’!
I also sometimes use the terms ‘letting go of weight’ or ‘letting go of lbs’, for similar reasons to the ones I already covered.!
I wonder what your thoughts are on the subject?
Whatever you think, I’m going to talk about it  in my way because it works for me.  And if others are  making positive comments, then it must work for at least some them too!
If you feel like we are on the same wave length and you are ready to change your relationship with your body, get in touch to arrange a chat, so we can put the first steps in place for you.
You can email me >>here<<
 Anna x

Dieting and Deprivation

Dieting and Deprivation

 

It’s something I have heard regularly over the years from clients-

I don’t want to feel deprived otherwise I’ll end up giving up on my diet.

 

And yes it’s true, feeling deprived is not the most positive of feelings.
Who wants to feel deprived??
Feeling  like you are not allowed to indulge in the same way that ‘everyone else is allowed to’ is a sad place to be. AND a sure fire way of jeopordising your chances of longterm weight management success.  And even more importantly, it could also ruin your chances of a healthy relationship with food, not to mention  a healthier way of life.
I spent so many years whilst working in the weight loss industry, subscribing to the theory that if you deprive yourself of the foods you love you will doom yourself to failure.
I believed this theory wholeheartedly!  I positively encouraged the members of my slimming clubs to make sure that they had a ‘little treat’ now and then.

 

But I see clearly now….

…that changing what we tell ourselves about deprivation is essential if we want to release weight forever!

 

Let me ask you this:

Which is the bigger deprivation?

 

1. Not allowing yourself to indulge in foods which are high in sugar and saturated fat. Foods which are high in salt and saturated fat. Foods which make you crave more of the same; which make you feel out of control.  Foods which lead to bingeing. Foods which you know are responsible for you being overweight. Foods which harm your health. Foods which could potentially leads to type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol. Foods which leave you feeling depleted of energy and ‘stodged out’.  Foods which when you have overindulged in them (because they are so  ‘moreish’) leave you feeling guilty and annoyed with your self.

 

OR

 

2. Not allowing yourself fresh, tasty, nutritious and colourful foods. Foods which will help keep your body healthy and limit the likelihood of illness.  Foods which will help you to feel lighter and full of energy.  Foods which fill you up, and enable you to feel in control.  Foods which help you manage your weight and feel better about yourself.

 

So when I put it like that, which really is the bigger deprivation?

.
Or I could put it another way-

Which of the following scenarios sounds like it will create the biggest deprivation to you?

Denying yourself the shortlived sensory pleasure of stuffing your face with JUNK food which has minimal nutritional value, helps keep your body fat and bloated and makes you hate yourself for your lack of control.
OR
Denying yourself the longer term pleasure of a  fitter, healthier and slimmer body, and a more enjoyable relationship with food

 

Here’s the thing:

We get to choose how we think about the concept of deprivation.

I wonder if like me, you are starting to believe that you have got things a bit skew whiff where weight management and the idea of deprivation is concerned ?
Look, let me repeat: I’m not suggesting that we never eat any unhealthy food ever again.
But I am suggesting that we change how we view ‘deprivation’.  When we tell ourselves we will be ‘deprived’ if we are ‘not allowed’ to eat the big greasy burger for example, we are choosing to make healthy eating seem more challenging than it needs to be.
We are also making long term weight management and healthy eating feel impossible.
We are feeding ourselves an unhelpful lie.
Do yourself a favour, and review the way you think of deprivation.
One of my 1-1 clients did just this.  5 weeks in and she has changed her deprivation mindset so successfully, that she recently returned from a thoroughly enjoyable holiday 3 lbs lighter. (14lbs in 5 weeks and smiling all the way!).

Please share this post and help me help the women who need to hear this message 🙂

Busting the ‘TOO BUSY’ Myth!

Busting the ‘TOO BUSY’ Myth!

 

Ok so I am going to put this little nugget right out there from the outset-
We make time for the things in our life that are important to us.

 

Here it is again:
We make time for the things in our life that are important to us.
Right?
Right!

 

So if you feel unhappy about your size/health and think about losing weight constantly, yet just cannot seem to find the success you crave – then you may need to ask yourself a couple of questions.
The first question is-

How important is becoming slimmer to me?

The second question is-

Am I making time for my weight management project?

Now, consider how aligned your answers to the 2 questions are?

If weight loss is important to you and yet you don’t make time for it, then bingo there is your problem.
Those of us with long term weight issues know, that weight loss is unlikely to happen without a certain amount of planning and effort.  And that takes time, right?

I’d argue that the single MOST important thing we can do to get the results we want, is to maintain a CONSISTENT FOCUS. Both words are equally important here….

FOCUS, because so many of our daily habits, (including eating and how active we are) are ingrained.  We are on auto-pilot.  So in order to create NEW habits and behaviours and to ingrain them, we need to FOCUS.  We need to hone in on the detrimental habits and create new ones. I’ll say this just one more time- this takes FOCUS!
CONSISTENT is important,  because it’s the only way to eliminate old unhelpful behaviours and create permanant new habits. It’s the answer to achieving our body goals.  To FOCUS CONSISTENTLY, day after day over a period of time until the new habits become our new auto-pilot.

 

So, I can almost hear the excuses coming now…

(I’m not being judgemental or flippant here- I have used these excuses myself!)

Excuse Number 1

I have to put everyone else first…well, you’ve got to look after your kids first don’t you?
And my spouse/partner/elderly parents/dog/cat/chickens/random friends with problems etc.etc., they need me too.
It would be selfish of me to put my needs first, wouldn’t it?

Reality Check to Excuse Number 1

Um selfish?  I don’t think so!  If you don’t look after YOU, and YOU go under-then what??? Then all those who need you, will have to do without you anyway!
ALSO, it’s not about you necessarily putting yourself ABOVE everyone else (unless you want to! And if you do, that’s OK!  In fact it’s good! Remember that whole thing of: ‘in case of emergency, put your own gas mask on first’, so that you can help others?).
If it feels more comfortable for you though, you could put your needs on a parr with everyone else’s needs. Either way, it’s essential that you move yourself up those rungs!

Excuse Number 2

There was just too much going on last week, for me to focus on my weight management!
It was so-and-so’s birthday, I had a big project on at work, the kids were playing up, I was so tired/ stressed/ fed-up/happy…blahdy-blahdy-blah!

Reality Check to Excuse Number 2

This excuse is about not having enough headspace to be able to focus on our body goals alongside everything else that is going on.
Or not wanting to!
But the reality is, that we get to choose where we allocate our headspace.
In truth we could each spend just 2 or 3 minutes at the beginning of the day (or the night before) thinking about what the prospective challenges of the day ahead are. This then allows us the opportunity to  come up with a plan to work around them so that our healthy eating is not impacted in a negative way.
Seriously- it only take a few minutes of focus to keep on track. (Consistent focus each day, of course).  Don’t buy into this excuse!  It’s a lie!

 

Excuse Number 3

Yes but seriously- I’m SO busy. I work full time, I have a family to take care of…I just end up running out of hours in the day!

Reality Check for Excuse Number 3

Yes indeed.  Modern life can be super busy, there’s no denying it.
Yet again though, we are the one’s who organise our time.  We can choose to prioritise what is important to us.  We can decide whether to spend 15 minutes less on social media, or get up 15 minutes earlier to prep a healthy lunch.
Eating healthily doesn’t need to take hours and hours.  Creating a simple eating plan for the week ahead and doing one big shop a week, could actually save time.  We have to eat and shop anyway, don’t we?

Right, so let’s go back to the beginning then…

We make time for the things in life that are important to us!
Question is-just how important is taking care of your body, to you?
And do you now think you might be able to find a few moments a day to get this show on the road?
Talk to me in the comments- I’d love to hear from you 🙂

 

Trusting in your own food choices!

Trusting in your own food choices!

 

Some of my clients will tell you how disappointed I was to discover that it wasn’t me who invented the concept of ‘Intuitive eating’!

I honestly thought that no one else had thought of it.  The phrase had just cropped up naturally during a 1-2-1 session with a client, and I’d got all excited about it.  I felt as though I’d stumbled onto something that could help the millions.

Luckily I had the intuition (!) to google it, before I wrote the book and got the t-shirts made 🙂

 

Anyway if you google it too, you’ll finds reams of information.

Here is what Wikipedia has to say on the subject:

Intuitive eating is a nutrition philosophy based on the premise that becoming more attuned to the body’s natural hunger signals is a more effective way to attain a healthy weight, rather than keeping track of the amounts of energy and fats in foods. It’s a process that is intended to create a healthy relationship with food, mind and body, making it a popular treatment for disordered eating and eating disorders. Intuitive eating, just like many other dieting philosophies, goes by many names, including non-dieting or the non-diet approach, normal eating, wisdom eating, conscious eating and more.

This is my take on ‘intuitive eating’:

It goes like this:  those of us who have followed diets, plans or programmes (whatever you want to call them) over a period of years have lost the ability to listen to what our bodies’ need in terms of nutrition.

We have become accustomed to following someone else’s rules on what we should and should not eat, and as a result we label foods ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

We also label ourselves ‘good’ or ‘bad’ depending on whether or not we have stuck to the diet rules.   This has led us to not being able to trust ourselves to know what or how much to eat.  The result for many of us who struggle with our weight is that we have come to believe that we only like to eat the ‘bad’ stuff.  And/or we will feel deprived if we don’t have it.

Because I have been ‘watching my weight’ since my teens, the only times during my adult life that I have allowed myself to trust ME to choose what to eat was when I was pregnant.

 

During my pregnancies I let myself off the dieting hook, and inadvertently ate intuitively.

Surprisingly I craved fruit, especially peaches and nectarines and only gained 20lbs with each of my 3. Yet when I went back to ‘dieting’ after the births, I seemed to go back to craving biscuits, chocolate and crisps and guess what?  (There was probably a very good reason for this which I’ll talk about later).

I gained more weight after having the babies, than I had before!

 

I noticed whilst away a long weekend recently, some of the benefits of eating intuitively.

My aim before I went was to relax, yet listen to my body.

Before each eating opportunity while I was away,  I sniffed the air, smacked my tongue to the roof of my mouth and asked myself: was I hungry and if so what did I REALLY fancy to eat.

On 1 occasions I fancied chips, another time I had a Thai chicken curry and then there was the amazingly delicious cheesy omelette (I must have needed protein that day!).  But my tongue smacking also led me to buying bananas and apples in the supermarket, passing on cake in the afternoon (Whaaaat? I honestly didn’t fancy it- but I did have a hot chocolate no cream-too claggy for me!).

I didn’t have a single dessert but on Saturday and Sunday, (not Friday) I fancied some wine, and I had a lovely cakey/bun thing for breakfast with my banana on Saturday.  I totally enjoyed my intuitive eating experience and was half a pound lighter when I returned home.

Now I’m definitely not suggesting anyone abandons everything they have learnt about healthy eating all in one fell swoop.

But I am suggesting that where food is concerned, there is opportunity for some of us to practise listening to our bodies a bit more. The first step would be just to pause, and think about whether we are hungry; and if we are then with a little smack of the tongue, we could ask ourselves what we fancy.

We may surprise ourselves by finding that sometimes we really do fancy a bit of salad or a nice chicken breast.

Warning!

Eating foods full of refined sugar, messes with your ability to eat intuitively in a healthy way.

Foods high in refined sugar i.e. biscuits, cake, white bread, lead us to craving more of the same.

Salty, fatty foods are moreish too!

Just saying!  (Because I know some of you will be reading this and thinking ‘Yeah, right! Left to my own devices all I will intuitively want to eat is chocolate!  You’ll probably find if you don’t start on it in the first place, you won’t desire it so much!)

What do you think? Do you already listen to your body? Do you know someone to whom eating intuitively comes naturally? Please talk to me in the comments!

Bye for now

Anna x