Ditch your ‘shoulds’ and embrace your ‘wants’!

Ditch your ‘shoulds’ and embrace your ‘wants’!

 

Ditch your ‘shoulds’ and embrace your ‘wants’!

 

How many times in a day do we get that feeling that we ‘should‘ be doing something?
When you think that thought- ‘I should do that’ how does it make you feel?
For me my heart sinks a little.  I feel dragged down.  I feel slight irritation. I usually feel guilty too.
‘Should’ is not a motivating word.
Yet ‘should’ appears so often in the mental vocabulary of us larger ladies.

 

I really should lose this weight!  I really should eat salad for lunch!  I really should join a gym!

 

One BIG reason so many of us feel that we ‘should’ lose weight, is that we are constantly told that overweight equals unhealthy.
But what if I told you that this might not be true??
HAES (Health at Every Size) is a movement that promotes body positivity and celebrates body diversity.
It claims that being overweight per se is not unhealthy, and provides lots of proof to back this claim.
The theory is that it’s certain behaviours that are unhealthy e.g. drinking excess alchohol, smoking, lack of nutrients in our diets and lack of movement; and that it’s these behaviours that lead potentially to  poor health regardless of whether the person is overweight or not.
I have to say that this makes sense to me.

 

 

You might at this point accuse me of wishful thinking

……but look, here’s the thing.  We all know that if you are a smoker , it doesn’t matter whether you are fat or thin- smoking is unhealthy.  (In fact this article indicates that, ‘overall, mortality risk is smaller in overweight or obese ex-smokers than normal-weight smokers.’)
So it makes sense to me that an overweight body which participates in good nutrition, regular exercise and drinks alcohol sparingly (and of course is also a non-smoker), is healthier than a slim person who does the opposite.

 

In any case perhaps an even bigger problem is that whilst being overweight is demonised by society as being unhealthy, and whilst for decades now ‘weight loss’ has been the prescribed cure for many ailments – yet still as a society we aren’t getting any slimmer.   We are being prescribed something that does not appear to be achieveable in the long term.

 

 

Anyway, getting back to the point of ‘shoulds’ being unmotivating

 

Now that I have shared a 4 pronged health strategy with you,  my fear is that you may think you have some new ‘shoulds’ to add to your already long list of ‘shoulds’.  And believe me that’s not my intention.
So let me flip this a bit and ask you –

Do you WANT to either maintain your current health, or to improve it?

(I’m assuming your answer is ‘yes’??)

If so, which behaviours do you WANT to change?

 I believe in order to make permanent change in your life you have to WANT to, and you also have to be WILLING to do what it takes to create that change.

 

‘SHOULD’ just won’t cut it in the long term.
In fact immediately we eliminate ‘SHOULDS’  we also eliminate the need for rebellion.  We reduce the likelihood of guilt; we don’t feel so dragged down by it all.
We are more likely to take action.
So let me urge you to choose WANT instead!
WANT automatically brings less resistance with it.
WANT is empowering.

 

Imagine……..what if you no longer felt you ‘should’ lose weight?  Or you didn’t need to ‘should’ exercise more?
What if you really WANTED to take better care of your health?  What possibilities lay ahead for you and your body then?

 

I’d love to hear your responses in the comments below!

 

PS Would you like to join a body positive community?
Then click >>here<< and ask to join my new FREE Facebook group- Time to heart your body and live your life.  It officially opens on 1st December 2017.  Hope to see you over there 🙂

 

Time to sort it?

Time to sort it?

 

 

I want to share with you why, when I started up my business I called it: ‘TIME TO SORT IT’.

‘Well that’s obvious!’ I hear you cry!  Well maybe it is and maybe it isn’t 🙂

(By the way- Americans don’t really understand the phrase.  They keep trying to suggest that I have missed the ‘out’, out!  As in they think it should be ‘Time to Sort It Out’!

But I like my English ‘Time to Sort It’ better!  So that’s that!)

 

ANYWAY….

 

Really for me it’s all about the word ‘TIME’!

Nearly 3 years ago in my 50th year, an alarm bell went off and I realised that the time had come for it to be MY time!

MY time to make a difference to MY life!  I did the maths and worked out that even if I lived to be 90, I had less time ahead of me, than behind me!

And I wasn’t in a very happy place.  My children had pretty much grown up.  I was working in the weight loss industry and did not feel valued by my company.  The job was hard, and because I am conscientious and I SO wanted to help my slimming club members be successful, I let the job take over my life.

Added to that I had been struggling to maintain my own weight during my 40s.  Finally the light bulb pinged, and I was ready to see that what had once worked for me i.e. the slimming club strategy, was no longer working.  I had become immune!

I was also sick of feeling negative about my body.  Sick of feeling pressured into always having to strive for a non maintainable weight.

And importantly I saw that many of my members were in the same position as me!  They were clinging onto the slimming club culture because it had worked for them once.  For some it had worked twice, rarely 3 times.  And after the third time they, like me were doomed never to see the same weight loss success again.  They too had become immune.

And really we were all really wasting our time!

And instead of recognising that the system was no longer working for us, we blamed ourselves for our lack of willpower.

The harder we tried to follow the rules, the more difficult it was to sustain the effort.   And our confidence was being affected, and we were learning to hate our bodies even more!

And so another reason I no longer liked my job was that I wasn’t able to help the women I REALLY wanted to help.  Those who had long term weight management issues.  Those who felt shame and loathing for their bodies.  There just wasn’t the TIME to be able to help those women in a slimming club setting.  And as for the ritual of the scales, well that’s the subject for another blog!

 

So TIME TO SORT IT for me meant that I couldn’t, and wouldn’t put things off anymore….

 

It was MY time to sort my life and my body out!  And I didn’t want to postpone things for a moment longer.

I left my job, fulfilled a lifetime’s ambition of getting a part-time job at my local library (what can I say-I love books!).   At the same time I trained as a life coach and set up my practice.  I wanted to give myself the opportunity to truly fulfill one of my life’s purposes- to help women just like me!

My mission is  to metaphorically shake women who have spent too many years, feeling bad about themselves and their bodies.  To make the alarm go off for them too. I want them to realise that life is just too damned short to be stuck in the same cycle of dieting disappointment. To encourage them to give themselves a break and stop beating themselves up.  To help them to start respecting their bodies and to begin to really prioritise their self care.  And if they want to release weight too, I want to help them to do it from a place of realism and kindness.

So as a business name ‘TIME to Sort it’  means that for me and my clients, NOW is our time to sort it.

There is never a better time than right now!

 

There are 2 additional reasons why the word TIME feels important in the work I do..

 

Firstly it is super important to make the TIME to do what we need to do, in order to sort it.  We can wish and hope and ponder as much as we please.  But until we actually make the TIME to plan and to take action, we are unlikely to achieve our goals!

All to often when we have had a ‘bad’ week where our weight management project is concerned, we tell ourselves that we were too busy to focus.

But the truth is we make TIME for things in our life that are important to us.

I guess then, that’s the first decision we need to make.  Is our body important enough for us to find time to focus on it?  For me the answer is YES.  What’s your response?

As women it can become a habit to put others before ourselves.  And of course our family should be right up there in our list of priorities.  But there is no valid excuse or reason, why we can’t put ourselves right up there with them.  If we REALLY, REALLY want to ring the changes then we need to be committed to allocating time to our body project. End of!

It will take TIME to get there

 

And finally I want to make it clear that it will take TIME to reach your long term body goals!

Patience will be required.  Perstistence will be required. Consistency will be required.

We’ll have to resist the desire to believe the diet claims promising quick results.  They haven’t worked for us in the past; they won’t work in the future. We’ll need to understand that it is more valuable to gain long term, permanent results.

After all which is your preferred outcome:

To lose 14lbs quickly, only to put it all back on again by this time next year?

Or to take the time to learn to totally respect your body, so that you WANT to take the best possible care of it?

(IMO the latter offers the opportunity of gradual and permanent weight release, the feeling of being comfortable in one’s own skin whatever one’s body size, and improved physical and emotional health).

So here’s a question for you?  When will it be YOUR time to sort it?

Anna x

 

 

 

 

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